Week of December 26, 2001
Everyone feels shy sometimes. Have you ever wondered what's going on in our minds and bodies when we experience shyness? This week, we look into both the social aspects and the biology of shyness. Guests include singer-songwriter Suzanne Vega, who talks about being a shy performer; Dr. Bernardo Carducci, the Director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast; and two preeminent developmental psychologists, Dr. Jerome Kagan and Dr. Nathan Fox, who discuss whether shyness is an inborn trait. We also visit a support a support group for shy people.
Host Dr. Fred Goodwin opens the show with an essay on shyness. He examines the ways in which shyness is both genetic and environmental. One may be born with a predisposition to be shy, but the environment will impact the degree to which that shyness is expressed. He gives the example of a shy child being given books to read at an early age, perhaps further encouraging the child's pursuit of solitary activities.
He concludes by noting that to call someone shy is a neutral statement. Whether shyness proves to be positive or negative for people will depend on their other traits, the environment in which they're raised, and their ability to deal with the cards they're dealt.
Next, Kirsten Malloy, a twenty-five year old graduate student in New York City, talks about her shyness. Like many shy people, Kirsten becomes intensely embarrassed when she believes people are looking at her; she remembers turning bright red and slinking down in her seat whenever the teacher would call on her in class. Many shy people have some trait they're particularly sensitive about, that is, something they believe makes them stand out. For Kirsten it's her voice, but for other people, it might be that they believe they're too tall or have too many freckles. Ultimately, Kirsten tried to overcome her shyness by forcing herself to perform on stage, so that people would notice her for something positive, rather than for her high voice and red face.
Our next guest is Dr. Bernardo Carducci, who is the Director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast and the author of Shyness: A Bold New Approach. He discusses the pain that shy people often feel. He says that shyness and introversion are not the same - shy people generally want to be involved in social activities, but find that they can't, while introverts prefer to keep to themselves.
Dr. Carducci says there are three underlying dynamics to shyness. The first he calls "approach/avoidance conflict" - shy people often hold back in social situations because they want something they believe they cannot attain. For example, if a shy man sees an attractive stranger across the room at a party, he wouldn't be able to go up to her and start a conversation.
The second dynamic he calls the "slow to warm-up tendency." If a shy person arrives at a party and hasn't found someone to talk to after three or four minutes, she might leave. But often, shy people just take longer than others to feel comfortable. To shy people in this situation, Dr. Carducci suggests arriving early, when it's easier to mingle, and not giving up right away.
Finally, the third dynamic is the "limited or small comfort zone." Shy people are likely to have fewer friends and feel comfortable in fewer situations than more outgoing people. For example, they might always meet the same people at the same place every week. Dr. Carducci suggests mixing things up a little - the same group of friends might try going to a new restaurant, rather than meeting at their usual hangout. Often, Dr. Carducci says, shy people act in these ways because of excessive self-consciousness and fear of failure.
He says there is a continuum of shyness. Everyone feels situational shyness on occasion, for example when meeting a famous person. Many, perhaps 40% of shy people, fall into the category of traditional shyness - that is, they feel some discomfort in social situations. A smaller percentage experience social anxiety - these people have no problem holding down a job or taking the bus, but they avoid social situations. Finally, there are social phobics who avoid all social contact, and so would have trouble keeping a job or taking public transportation.
A caller, Dee from Michigan, says she falls into the social anxiety category. She wants to know how she can help her daughter avoid the traps she fell into - when she was a teenager, she used drugs and alcohol to try to dull the pain her shyness caused her. Dr. Carducci says she needs to set an example for her daughter to show her how to feel comfortable with other people. But he also says it's important to love your child for who she is, not how outgoing she is. Dr. Carducci and Dr. Goodwin also discuss medications like Paxil as an option for people with extreme social anxiety and social phobia.
Dr. Bernardo Carducci can be reached at Indiana University Southeast; Shyness Research Institute; 4201 Grant Line Road; New Albany, Indiana 47150 or on the web at www.ius.edu.
Next, the Infinite Mind's Bill Lichtenstein talks with singer-songwriter Suzanne Vega about her shyness. Although Vega performed for 100,000 people at Glastonberry Festival, she often feels reserved in social situations. She says it can be easier to sing in front of a large crowd than to feel comfortable at a party.
Vega performs her song "Left of Center," which deals with feeling "in the outskirts, in the fringes."
You can learn more about Suzanne Vega at www.vega.net.
Our next guests are Dr. Jerome Kagan, a Professor of Psychology at Harvard University and one of the most-respected developmental psychologists in the world, and Dr. Nathan Fox, a developmental psychologist at the University of Maryland who is working to understand the biology of shyness.
Dr. Goodwin opens the discussion by asking whether shyness is inherited. Dr. Kagan responds that babies don't inherit shyness, but, as the latest research seems to indicate, they can inherit a chemistry in the limbic brain that renders them sensitive to unfamiliar or novel events. So, a four-months old might react to unfamiliar things like mobiles and new smells by thrashing or crying. Once the baby is a toddler, most unfamiliar things are, in fact, people, so that same child now might appear shy.
According to studies done by Dr. Kagan and Dr. Fox, out of one-hundred children, about fifteen will inherit an inhibited temperament. Once they are adults, though, only three will look shy, and twelve will look average, but none will be extroverts. Therefore, temperament does not determine how you will turn out, but, as he says, it "constrains you from being the opposite."
Dr. Kagan also says there can be positive aspects to shyness or inhibition, especially in a society like ours in which we need people who would rather work alone - writers, computer scientists, and physicists, for example. He gives the example of T.S. Eliot, who was probably an inhibited child, but went on to become a Nobel-prize winning poet. He also says there may be an evolutionary advantage to being shy. Studies with monkeys have shown that if an animal is a little timid, it might live longer. Doctors Kagan and Fox then discuss what they believe is happening in the brain of a shy or inhibited child. Dr. Kagan describes the pattern of projections from the amygdala that occur in inhibited children, and surmises that there is a specific chemistry governing this activity. Dr. Fox has found greater desynchronization of alpha frequency in the frontal cortex of inhibited children. That is, in these children, certain areas of the brain show increased desynchronized activity - a sign of the brain at work, rather than at rest. Dr. Jerome Kagan can be reached at Harvard University; Department of Psychology; William James Hall 1514; Cambridge, MA 02138 or on the web at www.harvard.edu.
Dr. Nathan Fox can be reached at University of Maryland; Department of Human Development; Benjamin Building, Room 4303; College Park, MD 20742 or on the web at www.umd.edu.
Next producer Marit Haahr attends a shyness support group in Manhattan. She follows three students - Barry, Ileana, and Talia - as instructor Charles di Cagno leads them through a class. To learn more about the Public Speaking and Social Anxiety Center of New York, visit http://www.speakeeezi.com
Finally, commentator John Hockenberry says that he considers himself shy, and he used to hate being put on the spot. But, ever since a car accident at age nineteen, he has needed a wheelchair. From that moment on, everyone noticed him, and shyness was no longer an option.
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